Because at some point, anything that touches your ears should play music over bluetooth, including stethoscopes.

Because there’s always time to license another crappy star wars product.

Because the world DOES give a crap about your crap.

Because your dog’s cold, man!

Because taking the steriods-esque “bigger is better” approach applies to both Baseball and pepper mills.

Because you need the warmth only hipster-esque fingerless gloves can provide, but don’t want to deal with all that dignity.

Because you feel inspired to have 400 blu-ray discs spontaniously changable, and you’d rather spend $1,900  than waste your precious minutes changing a disc one at a time.

Because you need a dual-headed flash drive for your “business in the front, party in the back” data.

Because vacuum tubes + audiophilia (slash snobbery) + $350 for a tabletop radio = perfect way to display said audiophilia (slash snobbery).

Because your circuit board necktie and Apple logo cufflinks weren’t clear enough give-aways that you still live in Mom’s basement.

Because nothing protects your upside-down iPhone like a fake Zip-Loc bag for 30 bucks. (BONUS: She’s not on the phone — note the icons still on the display — she’s just really happy to have the warm plastic on her face.)

Because you need a motorcycle suit that matches your batman undies.

Because lets be honest, unless your RC car is doing something in addition to driving, like in this case doubling as a metal detector, you just can’t justify that purchase.

Because cutting a bagel with a knife is too difficult for your underperforming motor skills.

Because chocolate + flash drives = creamy data goodness.